Hopefully holding our breath...

We are about to join the ranks of the folks who have two mortgages. It isn't our first choice. For two years, we've lived in this run-down farmhouse with a sinking bathroom floor, leaky roof, rocking toilet, and no clothes dryer that is an hour and fifteen minutes from my job with the idea that we would move only when the house in Versailles sells. That was our plan.

But giving up 2 1/2 hours a day in the truck, $600 a month in gas, and the farmhouse's limitations were getting taxing. We've not been able to have our wedding gifts (or chosen not to, really), because we've been waiting for a house where we could really enjoy them. Still, we've been waiting.

Then, last Sunday was a bad day. I got up in the morning, got my morning coffee, and was looking online at some houses in Smith's Grove (a hobby of mine), and I discovered that one of the houses that I had been eyeing for quite some time had the price dropped $20,000. Oddly, I was heartbroken. We've been talking about how we were going to take advantage of this buyer's market, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. And suddenly, I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by it all, really.

I strapped on my running shoes and went for a quick run, but my emotions were just boiling. I have to say that I was well-aware that I wasn't just reacting to the house that we wouldn't be able to get. I also kept thinking that it's really not bad. There are millions of people (literally) in the world who would be incredibly happy to be in our position--to have the opportunity to live in a house with a roof over their heads, jobs that pay well, a family next door, and the necessities--home, clothing, food. I know that because I work with people who don't have those things all the time. And I feel the weight of that knowledge when I get stressed about our situation. 

I stress about not having a house where family and friends can visit comfortably. I stress about not being able to sell that house in Versailles--it feels like I'm still paying penance for deciding to leave Culver and take that job. And I feel like life is on hold...has been on hold. Or at least, I know we've been choosing to put things on hold in a lot of ways. 

Monday morning. I started making phone calls. By Monday afternoon, I had information on the house with the dropped price. I had called our mortgage company to see if we might be able to get one and how much it would cost. I had made an appointment to see the house the next afternoon. I had talked with Kevin on the phone a hundred times. I felt like I had started to figure things out. 

Tuesday night, we went over to see the house. The weeds and grass around the house are grown up so tall that we could probably mow and bale it. But if you can wade through that and imagine the house without it, you can see the potential in the property. The front porch has room for our rocking chairs and a swing. The view is of a beautiful cow pasture across the road. 

The inside is another story. You have to get beyond the incredibly stupid DIY ideas that the previous homeowners tried to implement to see that there is potential there, too. There's damage to the floors--neglected problems with french doors and moisture. There's a doorway that was filled in that should have been left alone. There are the most hideous paint and wallpaper choices throughout the home. But what Kevin and I saw is a home..our own home. 

So we put in a bid, the bank counteroffered, we bid back, the bank counteroffered again, we bid back, and the bank accepted. Now, we're waiting for the home inspection. And we're so excited we're bursting at the seams! But holding our breath that the inspection doesn't reveal anything that we didn't already suspect was there or anything worse than what is there. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, as well. 

Putting it out there to the universe...

We want to sell our house. Our house deserves people living in it who can enjoy it and take care of it and grow their family in it. The house deserves some positive energy. The neighborhood deserves people who have something to give. We want the universe to hear that we are not holding onto that house for any reason. At all. We want the universe to know that someone can come along and make a great life in this house, and that we will not be the people to do that. We want to put those ideas out into the world. We are open to someone coming and buying the house.

I'm trying to stay positive. The discouragement I'm feeling right now will pass. We're open to good things coming to us.

Some scenes from our camping trip...

Boxes of memories

I just spent the week up in Michigan with my mom. A year ago, I promised her that I would come up for a week so that we could clean out the basement, and I kept my promise. I drove up last Saturday after running a miserably slow 10K in South Bend, IN, and we got to work. We spent a full 8 hours mulching and weeding out their garden before heading in to the basement. 

The rest of the week was dedicated to sorting, labeling, and reorganizing 43 years of family memories. More than 43 years, actually. We found the wedding gift that my grandparents' pastor gave to them when they were married--that was nearly 70 years ago. We found all kinds of pictures. We found my grandma's china. We had a great time while getting sweaty and dirty. It's amazing how much stuff can accumulate. 

So I ended up bringing back four shoe boxes to Kentucky that I needed to sort through. Turns out I saved cards and notes from my freshman year in high school through my freshman year in college, and I didn't remember having saved them. Amazing to read, really. I didn't remember that I had been a prolific letter-writer. I had penpals in two other countries and at least five other states, and I've forgotten all about all the hours I spent to put words to paper.

In one letter, I got a note from a friend saying that he was thinking about getting an e-mail account at the school he was attending, but he hadn't gotten around to applying for it yet. This was in the days before yahoo and hotmail. So we were writing letters. Lots of letters.

Some of my favorite notes I found were from my high school boyfriend. Ohh, I thought he was just the bee's knees. Based on his notes, he felt the same. We dated for almost two years, and I really have no idea where in the world he is now, but what great memories I have of that time. Incidentally, his third period English class was apparently torture as most of his notes to me seemed to start with "English is PAINFULLY boring."

News..but not what we were hoping for...

Sounds like we're back to square one. The folks who wanted the house can't do anything for at least another month. So we're sorta at square one. But with the possibility of getting to square two? Disappointment, though. I'm so tired of this disappointment. 

Two in the bush...disappointment...riding the real estate roller coaster

It has been a week of ups and downs. We're (I'm) down right now. We had the one offer. We got a second offer. We decided to not go with the first offer because it was so low that we'd have to dig up $12,000 to sell the house. That's just a lot of money to sell something, isn't it? That's a huge chunk of my yearly salary. The other person couldn't come any higher. If we cut the realtors out of it altogether, we'd manage to then only owe $5000. And somehow that seems more palatable, but we can't cut out realtors--we need them. We tried selling this house on our own for about 10 months FSBO, and we got nothing but nibble after nibble without a serious offer. For anyone keeping track, we've now had the house on the market for 22 months. A house we aren't living in.

The second offer came in yesterday, but it had a couple of glitches in it that made it tough to take...those issues left way too much up in the air. But in looking at their offer, I thought that the up-in-the-air issues could all be solved by asking them to get a letter from their mortgage company since they had a meeting scheduled for today. They, oddly, responded that they would be in touch and that they wanted a response to their offer by 5:00 today. Then, they never got in touch today. So while I thought things would be clarified today, they are now muddied by a lack of communication. And we're stuck waiting with no recourse.

In the meantime, my realtor e-mailed me that another woman who was previously interested in my house saw another house today, fell in love, and is making an offer on that. That easy. Why the hell can't it be that easy for us? WHY? What do we have to do here? 

An offer...

We have one. FINALLY. Someone made an offer. It's low, but it's an offer. Ironically, the woman who made the offer is the same one who wanted the house a year and a half ago when we had the house FSBO. But for various reasons, that didn't work out. She kept in touch, though, until we put the house on the market with a realtor. Then, she got in touch with our realtor. Finally, she made an offer on the house yesterday. An actual, written offer. But it's low. Low as in we'll have to dig deeper into our pockets than we can to pay all the costs associated with the offer. So we'll counter. But keep your fingers crossed for us today. It's a big day.

Last night was the first night that Kevin talked about moving without that "don't put the cart before the horse" feeling in the conversation. I know where he's been coming from--someone has to pull in my enthusiasm when I'm ready to go out and spend money that we don't have. =)

But we might actually get to open our wedding gifts now! (We've been married almost a year).

Two Showings...One Hour...Waiting...

We dropped the price on the house on Friday by another $4000. This actually puts us $2000 under the price that I paid for the house in August 2005; but the house is worth what someone will pay for it, and it isn't worth what I paid for it in August 2005. We'll be digging into our pockets at this point to at least cover the realtors' fees, but we'll gladly do that if it will get the house off our books. 

The news, though, is that almost immediately after dropping the price on the house, we had a showing scheduled for 6:00 tonight. And then this morning I was sent an e-mail scheduling another showing for 6:15 tonight. This means that we could actually have two groups at the house at the same time. This is a dream for us considering the few number of showings we've had in the nearly 10 months we've had it listed with a realtor. I'm excited that there will be two groups at the house at the same time--perhaps that will make one of the groups feel the need to be a little competitive for the place? 

When a showing gets scheduled, I sit and watch the clock. I imagine people walking through the house at the time that they are supposed to be there. I wonder what they are saying. Then I wait...thinking that I might get a call from my realtor. Last time she took someone through the house, she actually called me from the showing to ask me a couple of questions. But regardless of who is doing the showing, I sit and wait. And I hope that our realtor will call with an offer...but I almost dare not let myself hope for that. 

This is hard. Cross your fingers for us. We have to hope, but we almost dare not hope... so our fingers are crossed, too. (And our toes). 

The Week in Review

14 Class Days Left

The only class where I still have some work to do for the end of the year is my Advanced Class. And I actually have it worked out in my head that they are going to do something using Imacs and Ivideo/IDVD to create an introductory video for the Newcomer's Center for next year. I need to sit down tonight and do the planning for that, but I currently just have a vague image of what I want done in my head and not a clear rubric for the kids. My goals are to get them to do some thinking about all that they've learned this year, learn some new computer skills, and have a fun way to close out the school year. I've got the laptops reserved. I need to pull together the necessary cameras. But first I really need to get their assignment in order... tonight. 

10.5 mile run day

It's the longest run I've done since Ironman, so I'm happy with it no matter how much slower than the speed of light that I went today. I met several new four-legged friends. And I really enjoyed my time out there. I LOVE Jelly Belly's Sports Beans, but I save them for long runs, so today was a nice treat. I've got only about four weeks until the annual Sunburst half marathon up in South Bend, so I've got to get in some more of these long runs between now and then.

Now Hiring

We're trying to hire my replacement at work, and it's not going well so far. If you're an ESL teacher looking for an interesting challenge, you might want to check us out. E-mail me for details, but it's a good job with good people and plenty of red tape. We interviewed someone this week, but I can't say how it went for confidentiality reasons and all. I'm hoping that a colleague of mine will get the chance to transfer in from another school, but it's hard to tell what to expect when personnel issues are in play. 

Baby Hats--My new obsession

So I've got three pregnant colleagues, and I spent yesterday working on making baby hats for two of them. One, I know, will have a boy. The other, I know, will have a girl. The results were fun to see--I got to learn a couple of new knitting tricks. And I'll put a picture of the hats in with this post. I wish I could figure out a way to make a little extra money off the baby hat business--it's relatively quick (5-6 hours of knitting for a hat) and inexpensive (maybe $12.00 for yarn for the ones I made today), and I really enjoy it. I clearly couldn't charge for my time, but I actually enjoy knitting for the therapeutic side of things, so I'd just be knitting for the fun of it and the money would be extra. Then again, I have so many projects I want to do!

New Teacher Orientation and me

While out on my run today, I spent some time thinking about what I'll say when I get a chance to speak at New Teacher Orientation this fall. My principal volunteered me, and I'm excited. I think I'll speak less about what it's like to be a new teacher  (since I'm not) and more about working with international students. Gotta start making a list.

Enough for now...this is the most random-though post I've done in a while. Check out my cute hats!

A quiet Sunday on the farm...

We have just nineteen instructional days left in the school year. We're out of school on May 26. After that, there are some professional days and such, but there will be no students in the building. Our standardized testing lasts three more days and then we have two days this week and then three additional weeks. It's quite strange to try to fill the last seventeen days of the school year. There's a sense of urgency to get in whatever instruction I can combined with the same urge my students have to quietly resign myself to the joy of summer vacation.

Last year in the post-CATS test time, I got my students focused on one final project for the year--writing their own student handbook for our school to be used by ESL students the following year. This year, my students are more advanced, and I'm trying to design a project that is a bit more multi-media oriented--they'll be doing a welcome video/handbook video for students who will be new to the school next year. I'd actually like them to orient it towards new speakers of English so I can use it with my newcomer's but I've not yet worked that out, either. I have to work out the details of it, and I'll start that process on the run I'm about to go on, but I think it will be an interesting way to end the school year. If only the technology will cooperate.

But today is a quiet Sunday on the farm. Last night I had a dog follow me home on my run that was just adorable, but Kevin took her back to the house where she started following me from. They don't seem to own her, either, but they also don't seem to mind her being around. They told Kevin that she's been hanging out at their house all week, so it was fine by them if she stayed around there. She's an adorable chihuahua/beagle mix. And if it were up to me, we'd take her in here. But Kevin is the voice of reason in the family because we both know that if it were up to me, we'd have a house of MANY dogs. And we have a house that is tiny--too small for two people, really...let alone the two people, two dogs, and a cat who already live here. And having another dog is expensive because we really do take care of our animal companions (Annie's bills in the last month alone have been over $500). Honestly, I just want every animal (and human, for that matter) in the world to have a place where they feel like they belong, and I like the chance to provide that place for them. So whether it's a new friend on the farm or a new friend in my classroom at school, there's an instinct in me to provide that place... sigh. No new dogs for now. 

After twelve years in education...

I am no longer an intern. Thank goodness. For crying out loud. Geesh.

It's been a two-year saga. I knew that going from a career in private schools and higher education would mean that I'd need to jump through some hoops to get to teach in public education. But, as I've said before, I never thought that every time I made it through a hoop, they would make the next hoop smaller and light it on fire. 

I have a MATESL degree from a well-respected program at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. I spent a year teaching overseas in a k-12 environment. I came home to spend a year working as an intern at Utah State University in their intensive English Language Institute. From there, I moved to NW Indiana to a private high school where I taught ESL for three years and then worked in the student leadership program for three years. From there, I moved to Kentucky for an ill-fated job at an experiential learning place. From there, I moved to another part of Kentucky to take a job teaching ESL at the middle school level. BUT...the public school requires a pedigree that I didn't have, so I needed to get to work.

After much wrangling, many phone calls, and several strings being pulled by people above me in the system (to whom I am forever going to be grateful), I found out that I would only need to do a portfolio demonstrating my teaching experience and compliance with the New Teacher Standards for the state of Kentucky. Upon successful submission of that portfolio, I would be able to take several tests and then, I thought, I would have the necessary pedigree to teach ESL. Prior to the wrangling, phone calls, and string pulling, I was actually told that in order to be eligible to teach in Kentucky Public Schools, I would need to complete a second bachelor's degree or, alternatively, get another Master's degree in an area that I'm not remotely interested in and spend a year teaching in that area. I was grateful for the string-pulling. 

So I spent a full six months of the last school year compiling a teaching portfolio with sample teaching units, reflective pieces, and other documentation (references, notes from students, student work samples) to try to accurately reflect my ability to teach English and English as a Second Language (because Kentucky is just starting to offer the option of English as a Second Language as a standalone certificate, I needed to get my teaching certificate in another area first and then get the ESL endorsement). I was quite proud of my 127 page teaching portfolio and even more pleased when I finally submitted it and it was accepted.

The next step was to spend $435.00 on Praxis tests over English Literature, Teaching Methods, ESL, and the like. That was another two months of studying--I had to review works of literature I hadn't looked at in 10 years. Most people take these tests immediately upon graduation from their programs--I've been out of school since 1997. It was fun to do all that reading, but with a wedding about to happen last June, I would have liked to have had the time for other things! I took (and passed) my last Praxis test the weekend before our wedding last June. I was all set! (Or so I thought).

When we started school this last August, a teacher whom I admire and respect in my building came to me and said, "Kim, I'm going to be your resource teacher for this year. You're my intern!" I smiled in that polite, "I have no clue what you are talking about" kind of a way and said I'd look forward to that. Then I stopped and said, "Wait. Intern?" That conversation began a whole other round of wrangling and resume-submission and argument with everyone from the superintendent on up through the head of the department of education. It turns out that anyone coming into the state of Kentucky with less than three years of teaching experience is required to go through an intern year. 

Wait. I have three years experience. 

Ay, there's the rub. Those three years experience have to be following certification. 

But I got my certification based on my experience. [Imagine three different phone calls with this line being said by me followed by silence on the other end of the line]. 

We filed protest after protest, but they all fell on deaf ears. Regardless of the lack of logic of it all, I ended up an intern after twelve years of teaching. And an intern position meant another portfolio, 70 hours of conferencing, meetings, observations... sigh. And, it meant that I still didn't actually have my teaching certificate--I just had my intern certificate.

Fortunately, it's been a good year. I've gone through some more hoops (although not as many as some had to go through!), and I've just today completed the internship. When I got home, I paid the $35.00 via ePay for my teaching certificate, and I will hope to see it in the mail in the next few weeks. Phew.

But seriously. All this drama. I consider myself highly qualified to teach, honestly. And I had to spend two years proving it before the state would officially let me have a classroom. I can understand why people who don't take a traditional route to education can get discouraged by the process. I was also very lucky to have incredibly strong advocates in my principal and the superintendent of schools. Still, it was such a lot of work that a lot of people had to do when someone with their finger on the right button in Frankfort just needed to say, "Stop the madness!" 

Now, I'll write about my position on tenure in another post (don't think it should exist), but I do wish that more people would have to prove themselves as qualified to KEEP their classroom in public education. They should have to go through what I had to go through just to get a classroom. But it's amazing how much work it all was. I'm glad that it's over. (We did have a celebratory DQ blizzard on the way home!)